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How to help kids cope with divorce

While you are grieving the end of your relationship with your spouse, it is very likely that your children are mourning the breakup of their family. Though your marriage was between you and your partner, your kids are a product of it and used to living in a home with two parents. You need to focus on your personal and financial recovery, but the health of your kids may be at risk, too. 

There are ways you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse can work together to help your children cope with divorce. Here is a brief rundown of how to ease the effects of the separation for your kids. 

Talk to them 

You may want to shield your children from the divorce, but actually, the last thing you should do is leave them in the dark about what is going on. Though younger kids usually have a harder time digesting the situation, older children are more intuitive and will figure things out. By talking to your children about the situation, you can lessen the likelihood of them becoming resentful or withdrawn, and acting out. 

The uncertainty of what comes next in divorce is stressful for kids to think about. Before you implement any changes to their lives and living arrangements, share these with your kids.

Listen to them

Part of making sure your children understand what is getting ready to happen is allowing them the opportunity to share their feelings and concerns. This gives you the chance to can clear up any misconceptions they have, but if they need to vent anger or frustration, listen without taking it personally.

Stay positive 

Regardless of how you feel about things, try to stay positive when your kids are around. Avoid discussing issues with your ex-spouse that can result in arguments and conflict. Work on improving your parental relationship with them so co-parenting becomes easier and your kids continue to feel safe and secure. 

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