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How to deal with love ones giving unwanted advice in a divorce

In life, there are several people an individual will look up to and listen to for advice. When couples in Massachusetts go through a divorce, it is common to reach out to those people for advice and help. This not only assists them with the emotions they are dealing with but also provides them with hope and perspective. But while friends and family members try to help, their help can actually result in more divorce issues.

For example, a recent report highlighted the fact that divorcing couples often receive advice from friends and family members. It also suggests that some of this advice is unwanted and could eventually be detrimental to the individual, the divorce process and their future.

Why could seemingly well-intentioned advice turn sour? Because some of the advice can fuel negative emotions and cause a spouse to be spiteful and hurtful towards their soon-to-be ex.

Instead, loved ones should focus on helping the divorcing individual deal with their emotions. They should console the separating spouse, acting as a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen.

Whether the individual or the couple seeks advice from a therapist or a legal professional, they should try to educate themselves about the situation instead of their friends and family painting the picture for them. Because it is common for unwanted advice to be given in the divorce process, the report has provided suggestions on how to deal with this. First, you should thank them and acknowledge that you are aware that they want them to help. Next, it is importation that they understand what you want and what you believe is best for you.

If a couple is seeking an amicable divorce, their loved ones should be aware of this. In addition, the divorcing couple should make sure they understand what their role should be in the process, even if that means staying out of it. Of course, if a spouse is finding it difficult to handle the emotions or the divorce procedure, they should consult with a professional to help them with their situation and provide them with options.

Source: Huffington Post, "How To Deal With Unwanted Divorce Advice," Bob Tomes and Jane Warren, Nov. 2, 2013

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