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Divorce now or wait until the children are grown?

Contemplating the end of a marriage can be difficult for any couple in Massachusetts. This is particularly true when the couple has children. When parents realize that their relationship is over, one of the most difficult divorce issues for the couple to face is whether the couple should stay together for the sake of the children.

While there may be arguments on the other side, an expert on divorce and its effects on children strongly suggests that when parents no longer love each other, the best course for the children is for the parents to divorce. While divorce itself can be difficult for children, the expert explained that when parents choose to stay together for the sake of the children, they are already "emotionally divorced." Living in a household filled with anger and resentment can cause children to suffer real psychological harm. When children see their parents fight constantly, it can cause them to have negative feelings toward marriage for the rest of their lives.

The expert also offered several important caveats. Parents should only consider divorce if they truly believe that they can go through the divorce process maturely and without using their children as bargaining chips. Throughout the entire divorce, the parents should always focus on how to create the best life for their children post-divorce. This may mean going through the long process of developing a divorce agreement that defines custody and support payments if needed.

While no couple gets married thinking that eventually they will be divorced, sometimes two good people simply do not make good partners. Ending a dysfunctional marriage can allow both parents to be happy once again and, hopefully, become better parents to their children.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Divorce Or Stay? Parents Must Put Kids First Either Way," Rosalind Sedacca, April 3, 2013

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