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Cold feet before marriages and divorces

A recent study indicates that when brides or grooms have doubts about getting married, but marry anyway, their marriages end in divorce more often. In particular, the level of doubt (or confidence) of brides in the study was correlated with a future divorce. The study reports that "women who experienced pre-marriage jitters were two-and-a-half times more likely to divorce four years later than women who were confident about getting married."

This increased likelihood of getting a divorce based on pre-marital nerves may surprise some. However, for those who have already gone through a marriage and divorce it may be no surprise at all. This study's findings suggest that seriously considering what is causing one's cold feet could be very beneficial in the long-run.

One counselor explains that when she talks with brides before they get married she asks them a variety of questions. She does this in order to determine whether brides' cold feet about the wedding are rooted in serious concerns about their future husbands and their relationship or whether they feel nervous because getting married is a major life change.

While deciding to get married and deciding to get a divorce are very different decisions, there could be a connection between them. In some cases, couples get a divorce and then remarry again later on, after realizing that they really do want to be together. For some of these couples, the divorce may have been a quick decision.

Couples thinking about getting a divorce who feel unsure about it may benefit from asking themselves similar questions to those the counselor asked the nervous brides. Determining whether a divorce is something a couple really wants or whether it is a decision they may want to reverse later on is important, as it could save the couple money and time spent in the divorce process.

Source: The Globe and Mail, "Wedding day cold feet? Divorce may be in the cards," Wency Leung, Nov. 9, 2012

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