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Want a divorce? Tips to help you break the news to your spouse.

Making the decision to divorce is never easy. Sharing this news with your spouse can be even more difficult. There are steps that can be taken to help ease the process.

First, it is important to take your spouse's habits into consideration. You likely know when this person is most capable of handling bad news. Perhaps a Friday evening is best, with a weekend ahead to discuss the decision and come to terms with the ending marriage. Perhaps it's best to avoid major holidays or occasions. It may be wise to wait a few weeks if, for example, a child's graduation is coming up.

That being said, don't wait too long. It's unfair to everyone involved to continue a marriage if you've already decided to get divorced. It's also wise to be kind, but direct. Avoid blaming the other individual. The experience can be eased by explaining the failed marriage with comments like "we don't spend time together" as opposed to "you're too busy to spend time with me."

It is also wise to attempt to be civil, particularly if children are present. Some couples are choosing to "consciously uncouple," a term made popular most recently by the split of actress Gwenyth Paltrow and Coldplay front man Chris Martin. If this is not possible, at least keep in mind that this person will play a role in your children's lives - you will continue to have some sort of relationship together. Having one that is at least civil is better than one full of contention.

Actually moving forward with a divorce is difficult. In addition to determining child custody and support issues various problems can arise with the property division determination of the proceeding. Those going through this process are wise to seek the counsel of an experienced divorce lawyer. Your attorney will help guide you through the process, better ensuring a more favorable result.

Source: Huffington Post, "How To Tell Your Spouse That You Want a Divorce," Susan Pease Gadoua, August 4, 2014

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Salem, MA 01970

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