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How staying positive after a divorce can help children


Divorce can be seen as a fresh start for couples in Massachusetts whose marriages have come to an end. However, if the divorce was especially emotional or bitter, it can take a long time for those negative feelings to go away. Nevertheless, it is often for the best for each spouse to put the past behind them and work towards living a positive life, particularly if there are children involved.


For example, it may be difficult for one spouse to see their ex-spouse dating. But disparaging their ex-spouse's new relationship will only make things difficult for the children who are also adjusting to this new person in their lives. For that matter, being respectful of the other spouse's time with their children, no matter how they spend it, sends the message to the children that each parent supports their relationship with the other parent, even though the parents themselves are no longer in a relationship.

Ultimately, the security that comes with having parents who accept each other as part of the child's life can go a long way towards helping children heal from the divorce. This may mean being flexible occasionally when it comes to parenting time, being cordial at shared life events such as birthdays and holidays and refraining from speaking negatively about each other in front of the children. It could even go so far as making an effort to speak kindly or praise the other parent.

That being said, there are times when one parent acts in a way that is unacceptable. Perhaps one parent repeatedly fails to honor a visitation schedule or pay child support. When this happens, there are remedies parents have to resolve the situation. Mediation can be a good way for couples to resolve a dispute with the help of a third party, who can facilitate discussions in a productive manner. Legal remedies, such as a modification of child support or custody agreements can also be of use should parents be unable to meet their prior obligations or should their life circumstances change.

In the end, it is important for both parents to raise their child in a healthy environment. Although it can be difficult, by working together parents can provide their child with the stability they need to thrive after the divorce.

Source: Huffington Post, "Want an Easier Divorce? 15 Ways to Take the High Road," Jackie Pilossoph, Aug. 30, 2013

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